Did I miss the memo, maybe, or that particular day at school where the instructions for life were given out…I did play hooky once in a while. Ok, a lot. But, seriously, what did I do wrong?
If you’ve also been held up by these self-defeating thoughts, well, stop. Like, consciously – stop your brain from doing this to your happiness. Put them down, leave them, we are still correcting our course.
And If you’ve never had these thoughts, I think you should write a blog, and I will subscribe.
I was on a walk today, through a quaint and quiet neighborhood rich with “I’m 100!” signs proudly staked in front of adorable, mostly craftsman style houses where 1920s charm meets 2020s Crate and Barrel. Unlike my own house – which has empty spots begging for me to transform them into the most romantic garden of greenery and flowers with sumptuous seating, and…you know, absolute beauty on par with the finest French chateau, or farm, or whatever – those people with the hundred-year-old houses, they got it right. Meanwhile, I let the neighbor’s cat use my planter as a litter box.
(Full disclosure, my parents renovated an 1850s house when I was a kid, and that was a money pit, so I know it’s not all roses, but these Orange County people GOT IT RIGHT.)
I was struck with those “What did I miss, where did I go wrong?” pangs. I wasn’t sure what the answer was, but at least I love that cat, and other animals. And I love that peace that comes from not calling out the neighbor about her cat.
Today, at the moment I paused for two squirrels to chase each other over the sidewalk, I did a hard mental redirect, or like, ya, what’s the purpose of clearing my head with a walk if I’m cluttering it with doom.
This was kind of a micro-sojourn in my long, slow sojourn toward fulfillment, success and freedom. Something new flashed through my mind while I was quite literally moving forward.
I decided to consciously believe that there’s no finish line. I didn’t miss out on a great future for myself and my kids or my mom. It’s still there. The doors are open. For each of us.
While you’re trying to figure it out, walks are good and free. You have five minutes? Its better than zero. Get out for a walk tomorrow. Promise. The gym is awesome, but we need a little sunshine to get us in the right place. Just a few minutes of breathing, moving and sunshine. Like it? Invest in a hat.
Find a few minutes tomorrow for a walk, choose your most realistic window of time right now.
While you’re breathing, don’t be dwelling on how it all went wrong. Imagine how right it’s going to be for you. Imagine what your perfect yard would look like, a garden? A barbecue place for everyone? Room for all kinds of playtime?
If you have the perfect yard, imagine fixing one of your neighbors’ ghastly nightmare patches of ugly, it’s fine.
On your walk, take out your phone and leave yourself a memo, something like:
“Hey, it’s me, and this is my memo to me, and I am going to be ok. I am doing it, and life is abundant and full of happy times. Stay on the path, I’m moving slowly, and I’m still moving forward. I am loved.”
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The Slow Sojourn 